I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize