they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
