In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
