i was born a porn star she said
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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