i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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