i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize