Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
