I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
