my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
