I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
