Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
