Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
