she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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