ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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