If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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