Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
