It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
