i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
