just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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