these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
