I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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