were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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