my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
