Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
