I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
