I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Drunk is not a location!
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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