Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
