Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Fuck appropriateness.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
