i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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