This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize