Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
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