nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
