It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
