No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize