Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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