Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
