and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Randomize