im about as happy as oj after his trial
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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