this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
