I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
