If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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