Im at strip club and am horny
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
