so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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