Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
My dick has a subreddit
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
