Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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