Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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