she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
