You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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