ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
