i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
