I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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