I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
