Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
