Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
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