I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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