you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
