It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it's like iHOP with fire
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
