I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Randomize
