i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the raccoons are back...
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