I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
