her vagine was all disorganized.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
