Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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