He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
