Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
