they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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